Compare and Contrast

So here's something a little different than my typical updates/pictures on our lives in the Bradley house. I've gotten a strong response from people on Sawyer's birth story, which has gotten me to reflect on the differences between my experience delivering him and delivering Avery.

The reason I am sharing this with all of you (because really, how interesting is it to read a personal blog where there aren't any pictures or funny stories to share?) is that I have heard/seen comments from friends and family about how they were disappointed with their birth experience. Whether they were planning on going with an unmedicated birth but ended up getting an epidural because they didn't progress fast enough, or they had an emergency cesarean after hours of intense labor, or they went naturally because there simply wasn't enough time to get medication before the baby was born, or any other numerous possibilities; I want to share my two cents on what was good about both of my deliveries.

By no means do I feel like my experiences are all encompassing and that all natural births or epidural births are created equal (I can't speak to c-sections yet.) So if any of this doesn't ring true about your delivery experience, that's okay! You can disagree with me and I'm cool with that.

Epidural vs. Natural

Epidural
I was hoping to deliver Avery naturally, but after I was started on pitocin (man, I really do hate that stuff) I knew there was no way I was woman enough to endure those intense contractions on my own. One thing I LOVED about having an epidural with Avery is how much I was able to enjoy giving birth after it was placed. Sounds weird to say that, right?  But seriously, once that pain factor was taken out of the picture, I had a "break" to just get excited for my first baby to join my family. And I was able to do that right in the middle of labor. It was amazing and I'm really grateful I could just soak everything in.

When it was time to start pushing, I felt like I was getting ready to board a roller coaster and could jump out of my skin with how happy I was to become a mom. It was such a rush and I really don't know if I would have been able to take in the whole labor experience without the aid of pain medication.

One criticism (if that is the right word to use) I have heard people say about epidurals is that the mother's initial attachment to her baby can be hindered by having a medicated birth. That was NOT my experience in the slightest. The second Avery was placed on my chest I felt like my heart was ready to burst with pride/love/joy/and probably any other positive word you can think of. I cried for 30 minutes straight because I was just so happy to have her. Avery also was able to nurse like a champ that first time, I never got the "epidural headache" after the delivery, and I am so glad I had a medicated birth.

Natural
My mom gave birth to all 6 of her children naturally, and I always thought that was pretty hardcore. Since I didn't go naturally with Avery, I was really hoping I could with Sawyer. Bringing life into the world isn't an opportunity you get everyday, and I was curious what that would be like without having medication on board.

And let me tell you, the whole idea of feeling "empowered" by having a natural birth is true. I do feel like I am a strong woman and think my body is incredible ("I'm a woman, hear me roar" style.) I now know what giving birth feels like, and I wouldn't trade that human experience for anything in the world. I really do feel like I have more confidence in myself and that "I can do hard things" more than ever before.

Really, most of labor wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Don't get me wrong, it was tough! But up until the pushing part, which was absolutely crazy, the contractions were manageable. I think having a fast labor helped since I didn't have to endure the contractions hours on end, but at the same time some big changes happened quickly which were painful! But another plus for natural labor was that I was hooked up to ZERO monitors/IV's/oxygen/blood pressure cuffs/catheters/and other lines. It was nice being able to move around and not be stuck in a hospital bed (if you can even call those things beds. They are more like work tables with a sheet on top.)

I think Kyle, overall, felt more of a connection with this birth than with the epidural since he saw how much work it was to bring this little guy into the world. That's not to say that there wasn't any sacrifice on his (and my) part for this though. Honestly, I think he was more relieved that the labor was over than I was! :) I know it was hard for him to see me hurting and not being able to do anything but hold my hand and say supportive things (which did help!) He was so focused on me, and I was so focused on pushing, that it was honestly a shock to both of us when Sawyer came into the world and it was all over. Unlike Avery's birth where we were in the hospital for hours before she was born and (as I mentioned earlier) we had time to wrap our heads around her birth, Sawyer was born less than 2 hours after we got to the hospital and we were both a little blindsided when he popped out! And truly, it was a pretty cool experience to have the calm after the storm! It was very different from the escalating excitement we had with Avery (which we loved) but the stark contrast from intensity to relief was also amazing. And you better believe that Kyle was choked up when he saw his son for the first time!

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So, there you have it, the pros of both experiences! Honestly, I have no idea what route I'll opt for with our next kid (because I'm guessing we will have another one...) So really, you can believe me when I say both ways are wonderful.

And here are just some miscellaneous tips I have for after the delivery.

Tips

Episotomies = Total Bummer. If you can avoid one, DO. It will make your recovery much easier. If you can't, use lots of ice packs!

Get out of the hospital as quick as you can after you deliver. I'm a nurse and have spent many an hour in the hospital, and I know that patients get no sleep with all the commotion of people coming to see you. Between the pediatrician, pediatric residents, the OB, the OB residents, admitting staff, nurses, hearing tests, circumcision, lactation consultants, photographers, and plenty of other people that you have never seen in your life, you don't sleep. Plus, can I say it again, those bed are HORRIBLE.

Take Ibuprofen for post delivery contractions and Tylenol for any fevers for when your milk comes in.

Anytime you feel like you have taken enough video or photographs of your infant, you are wrong. You will treasure every single one of them down the road. Take more!

After you deliver, enjoy all the things you couldn't while you were pregnant.Sleep on your back and stomach as much as possible! Bend over from your waist to pick things up! Eat deli meat for every meal! Embrace that your chest is now more feminine than you ever thought was humanly possible!

Last tip. Have the type of husband that will tell you that he misses your pregnant belly, but thinks you are more beautiful now than ever before (even if your stomach feels like bread dough and will until it stretches back down.) It will brighten your day when you never had time to shower, changed almost 20 diapers, haven't left the house in 6 days, and are still wearing maternity clothes. Basically, Kyle is the most helpful, kindest, and wonderful husband ever, but I'm sure your husband will do a great job too!