Fort

I don't know why it took us so long to actually do it, but last week we built our first fort.

And Avery was a huge fan.

Until she realized that couch cushions aren't the sturdiest items to lean on.

I don't know what makes couch cushions, blankets, and sheets so fun to sit under, but we had a blast!

So perhaps our house is a bit messy (what is that spoon doing on our couch?), our child may be exhausted (Avery was tuckered out after the fort festivities), my bangs may be a bit short (when you get the thought, Hey, I think I want bangs, DON'T cut them yourself if you have 0 experience cutting hair...), and Kyle may hardly ever get featured on this blog (Love you Kyle!), but we are happy! :)

Bathtime

From 5:00-6:30 every night, the Bradley household is extremely busy.

Kyle gets home from school sometime after 5 and in the subsequent hour and a half dinner is eaten, baths taken, jammies donned, and bedtime singing/readings accomplished for our kiddos.

And since there are 2 parents, 2 kids, and 2 bathtubs, we give baths at the same time.

I'm sure there's a way to do baths in the same tub, but between Avery's love for splashing (eating) bubbles,

and Sawyer's inability to situp on his own,

we've kept them in separate (but equal) tubs.

And it works!

Extreme Makeover: Baby Sleep Edition

First off, thank you to everyone for all your encouragement! Seriously, your words meant (and still mean) more to me than probably any of you meant them to. ;) What would the world be like without friends and family?

Now, I don't know what was up with Sawyer during weeks 7-18 of his life, but that kid sure wasn't thrilled to be alive. We were ecstatic to have him, but the feeling wasn't exactly (who am I kidding, wasn't AT ALL) mutual.

Don't those red eyes just scream to your soul "I need sleep! I need sleep!" (That is, if eyes could scream)? Every time I would lay Sawyer down in his luxurious crib in a pitch black room that was far away from any noise, he would look up at me and cry "Why are you laying me down? All I want to do is sleep, Mom! Why are you laying me down on this soft mattress, in a dark and silent room? I'm so tired!" (That is, if my 4 month old could talk in complete sentences. Although that might give Avery a complex since she isn't doing that at 20 months...)

It was maddening folks, simply maddening. But you know the saying ,"The night is darkest just before the dawn"?

Truth. It is 100% true.

I'm not sure what made that kid decide that he wanted (let alone needed) sleep, but he made that decision and has stuck by it!

And the stress, the tears, the screaming, and the swollen, red eyes have nearly disappeared for me (Oh. I mean Sawyer. Yeah, Sawyer. I always have it together and never have breakdowns.)

Believe it or not, that little man is asleep at 6 o'clock every night now. That's right 6:00! He wakes up around midnight to eat, wakes up again around 5 to eat, and then sleeps until about 7.

And you know what he is like when he wakes up after a night full of sleep (which I realize he isn't technically sleeping through the night, but I feel like two 20 minute feeding interruptions is a serious win)?

He is so happy! I love the trills he does with his voice, the swinging he does with his club legs (love that swaddle), and the toothless grin he sports.

That's right, my son sleeps like a boss now, and I love it!

The Sh-word.

Most of the times when people share about a hard time in their life, it’s after that event is over. It’s discouraging to be the person admitting that they aren’t perfect right now. And as a listener, the only thing that makes it bearable when hearing about a loved one’s rough patch is when the solution follows in their next sentence.

 For example, “It was really hard when Sawyer refused to sleep longer than 3 hours for 2 months, but that all changed when …”

Well unfortunately, that has not yet changed. And no matter how many baby sleep advice books I’ve read, how much advice I get from other parents, or how many hours (yes, hours!) this sweet babe is left to cry, the solution is still yet to be found.

And one thing I’ve learned is that when I’ve gone off of less than 6 hours of broken sleep for 2 month straight, I start getting pretty down. So down that the Sh-word comes out.

*Shock*

No, I’m not talking about the typical curse word. I’m talking about (dare I say it?) the word “should.”

Honestly, I feel like the swear word is less harmful than this one. Once it’s allowed into your vocabulary, I guarantee it will start dominating and plaguing you.

I should be better at this parenting thing. I should be enjoying my life more. I should be more secure with the way I look. I should be keeping in better touch with loved ones. I should be better at cleaning my house. I should be better at controlling my emotions. I should be more attentive to my calling. I should be more positive.  I should be. I should be. I should be.

See the danger in that? All of sudden you don’t have one problem to solve, you have a whole list that never ends.

And the hardest thing about the Sh-list is that all those things would be nice and make life better. They really would. So, it’s hard to get your mind in a healthier place because you see the truth in having this list.

 

I have no magic answer to this problem, if I did I wouldn’t be writing this. But I’m willing to venture a guess that it lies somewhere in the ability of being okay with being an imperfect person AND in the ability to keep striving to be a better person. How you swing that balancing act…I don’t know. Some days I feel like I get a glimpse of it, but it’s tough to keep the vision.

Yup, life has thrown me a major curve ball, and I’m still VERY much in the thick of it. So to you lovely people who took the time to read this, I’m sorry I can’t follow up this story with the solution.

…

Yet. I can’t follow it up with the solution yet. But here’s to hoping.