Plights of Pregnancy

This is a story about my 35 week pregnant body.

I go to church for 3 hours every Sunday. Kyle has early morning meetings and is out the door by 6 o'clock (poor guy, one day he won't be serving in Elder's Quorum and as Executive Secretary.) That leaves me and the Avester to get ourselves in our Sunday best and drive the 20 minutes to our 9:00 church. That first hour is spent wrestling with Avery on a pew (y'know only handing her one piece of bread for sacrament and then trying to stifle her pleas for more bread as she sees the trays being walked up and down the aisles) and the last two hours I teach/entertain/restrain 7-9 year old boys. To be honest it isn't much of a day of rest, but it leads to good stories. Like this one (I'm getting there, I promise.)

2 weeks ago I was struggling to make it through all of primary. I think the singing time is what did me in (some of those primary songs have high notes that I don't think I've ever been able to hit and I get out of breath just talking these days!) Once we got home I was parched to the utmost degree and spent the afternoon drinking water. As in a ton of water! How much water you ask? Try 5 LITERS!!! Crazy, right? I was kind of disgusted and impressed with myself all at the same time.

Okay, cue this past Sunday. I decided to avoid the dehydration and bring a water bottle with me to church. Naturally, I went through 2 liters and needed to visit the ladies room between teaching my kids and sharing time. So I sent my kids on their merry way to the primary room and I made my pit stop in the handicapped stall.

Well, this is where it gets tricky. After I had finished utilizing the facilities, I turned the circular lock to release me from the stall.

And you know what? Nothing. Happened.

That lock's handle would keep aspinning but that darn little metal post would not retract back into the door. I was absolutely dumbfounded! Was it really a possibility to get trapped in a stall in the Lord's building?

 

So there I was trying, to shake the door and manipulate this lock to do my bidding. No luck! All the while women kept entering (there were two other stalls) and exiting the room, giving weird glances at my shuttering stall. After 5 minutes of unsuccessful attempts, I knew that the only way I would break free of this imprisonment was to slide myself under the door.

Alright, kind of gross, but what's a girl to do? So I waited for the bathroom to be vacated, pushed my church bag through the opening, dropped on all fours, and began the army crawl.

Can I just mention once again that I was 35 weeks pregnant? I don't know how it goes for most ladies, but I kind of get this innertube effect going on that my belly, hips, and bum expand, making my mid range a bit...err...difficult to slide through small crevices.

So there I was, trying to roll from belly, to side, to belly, to side, and slither out from the stall. Yes, the skirt was ridding a bit low during the process, but I finally broke free! And to top it all off, nobody walked in during my plight!

And I haven't told anyone (aside from Kyle immediately after church) until now! That's how important all of you are to me. It was hilarious, humbling, and blog worthy in my opinion.

And now we get to wait and see what this upcoming Sunday holds...