Miracle

I, like most people, am not awesome at noticing all the little miracles that happen in life. Sure it's easy to recognize blessings when you have a life altering event (which I must say, he IS a a pretty cute miracle.)

But the daily blessings...those ones are harder for me to see. So that's why I think this little story is pretty neat.

Sawyer was born on a Monday and Kyle returned back to classes and work on Wednesday. Like any other morning, he jumped into our '99 Camry and turned the ignition. Unlike any other morning, the car would not start.

Annoying, right? Not only had we just had a baby and Kyle had to get back to work right away, but now our car flaked on us. At least, at first glance it seemed that way, but the timing for this mini crisis was perfect.

Blessing #1 Our battery didn't die 2 days earlier when I went into labor and needed to get to the hospital immediately. My mom was in town so we could have taken her car...except that it is a stick and Kyle doesn't know how to drive a manual. I do, but with my contractions coming every 2-4 minutes, I think my 10 years of experience would have been pretty useless. Thank goodness our battery made it through that drive!

Blessing #2 Our battery wasn't dead the next time we started our car either, which was when we were leaving the hospital. If it had Kyle, Sawyer, and I would have had to wait in the parking garage until my Mom could pack up Avery and drive to meet us. (We were already discharged so we couldn't have gone back to our room.) This wouldn't have been the end of the world, but all three of us were very ready for naps and I'm glad that they weren't delayed.

Blessing #3 Our battery DID die the next time our car started. Kyle and I are a one car family, so getting our car jumped means involving other people. Add on top of it that Kyle leaves before 8 to get to school and you have a pretty tricky situation. Fortunately, my Mom was staying with us and could jump our car with hers (plus she had cables. I'm pretty sure we owned cables at one point, but that morning we, apparently, didn't. Really glad my Mom had some!) It was the perfect situation.

Blessing #4 Kyle and I ran to Walmart that night to get a new battery and we each purchased sunglasses as well. You wouldn't think this was a big deal, but Avery had broken mine the week before and Kyle is picky about his sunglasses (as in he hasn't owned any since I've met him) Yea!

"As I have reviewed the past ... I have made some discoveries. One is that countless experiences I have had were not necessarily those one would consider extraordinary. In fact, at the time they transpired, they often seemed unremarkable and even ordinary. And yet, in retrospect, they enriched and blessed lives." -President Thomas S. Monson

Compare and Contrast

So here's something a little different than my typical updates/pictures on our lives in the Bradley house. I've gotten a strong response from people on Sawyer's birth story, which has gotten me to reflect on the differences between my experience delivering him and delivering Avery.

The reason I am sharing this with all of you (because really, how interesting is it to read a personal blog where there aren't any pictures or funny stories to share?) is that I have heard/seen comments from friends and family about how they were disappointed with their birth experience. Whether they were planning on going with an unmedicated birth but ended up getting an epidural because they didn't progress fast enough, or they had an emergency cesarean after hours of intense labor, or they went naturally because there simply wasn't enough time to get medication before the baby was born, or any other numerous possibilities; I want to share my two cents on what was good about both of my deliveries.

By no means do I feel like my experiences are all encompassing and that all natural births or epidural births are created equal (I can't speak to c-sections yet.) So if any of this doesn't ring true about your delivery experience, that's okay! You can disagree with me and I'm cool with that.

Epidural vs. Natural

Epidural
I was hoping to deliver Avery naturally, but after I was started on pitocin (man, I really do hate that stuff) I knew there was no way I was woman enough to endure those intense contractions on my own. One thing I LOVED about having an epidural with Avery is how much I was able to enjoy giving birth after it was placed. Sounds weird to say that, right?  But seriously, once that pain factor was taken out of the picture, I had a "break" to just get excited for my first baby to join my family. And I was able to do that right in the middle of labor. It was amazing and I'm really grateful I could just soak everything in.

When it was time to start pushing, I felt like I was getting ready to board a roller coaster and could jump out of my skin with how happy I was to become a mom. It was such a rush and I really don't know if I would have been able to take in the whole labor experience without the aid of pain medication.

One criticism (if that is the right word to use) I have heard people say about epidurals is that the mother's initial attachment to her baby can be hindered by having a medicated birth. That was NOT my experience in the slightest. The second Avery was placed on my chest I felt like my heart was ready to burst with pride/love/joy/and probably any other positive word you can think of. I cried for 30 minutes straight because I was just so happy to have her. Avery also was able to nurse like a champ that first time, I never got the "epidural headache" after the delivery, and I am so glad I had a medicated birth.

Natural
My mom gave birth to all 6 of her children naturally, and I always thought that was pretty hardcore. Since I didn't go naturally with Avery, I was really hoping I could with Sawyer. Bringing life into the world isn't an opportunity you get everyday, and I was curious what that would be like without having medication on board.

And let me tell you, the whole idea of feeling "empowered" by having a natural birth is true. I do feel like I am a strong woman and think my body is incredible ("I'm a woman, hear me roar" style.) I now know what giving birth feels like, and I wouldn't trade that human experience for anything in the world. I really do feel like I have more confidence in myself and that "I can do hard things" more than ever before.

Really, most of labor wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Don't get me wrong, it was tough! But up until the pushing part, which was absolutely crazy, the contractions were manageable. I think having a fast labor helped since I didn't have to endure the contractions hours on end, but at the same time some big changes happened quickly which were painful! But another plus for natural labor was that I was hooked up to ZERO monitors/IV's/oxygen/blood pressure cuffs/catheters/and other lines. It was nice being able to move around and not be stuck in a hospital bed (if you can even call those things beds. They are more like work tables with a sheet on top.)

I think Kyle, overall, felt more of a connection with this birth than with the epidural since he saw how much work it was to bring this little guy into the world. That's not to say that there wasn't any sacrifice on his (and my) part for this though. Honestly, I think he was more relieved that the labor was over than I was! :) I know it was hard for him to see me hurting and not being able to do anything but hold my hand and say supportive things (which did help!) He was so focused on me, and I was so focused on pushing, that it was honestly a shock to both of us when Sawyer came into the world and it was all over. Unlike Avery's birth where we were in the hospital for hours before she was born and (as I mentioned earlier) we had time to wrap our heads around her birth, Sawyer was born less than 2 hours after we got to the hospital and we were both a little blindsided when he popped out! And truly, it was a pretty cool experience to have the calm after the storm! It was very different from the escalating excitement we had with Avery (which we loved) but the stark contrast from intensity to relief was also amazing. And you better believe that Kyle was choked up when he saw his son for the first time!

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So, there you have it, the pros of both experiences! Honestly, I have no idea what route I'll opt for with our next kid (because I'm guessing we will have another one...) So really, you can believe me when I say both ways are wonderful.

And here are just some miscellaneous tips I have for after the delivery.

Tips

Episotomies = Total Bummer. If you can avoid one, DO. It will make your recovery much easier. If you can't, use lots of ice packs!

Get out of the hospital as quick as you can after you deliver. I'm a nurse and have spent many an hour in the hospital, and I know that patients get no sleep with all the commotion of people coming to see you. Between the pediatrician, pediatric residents, the OB, the OB residents, admitting staff, nurses, hearing tests, circumcision, lactation consultants, photographers, and plenty of other people that you have never seen in your life, you don't sleep. Plus, can I say it again, those bed are HORRIBLE.

Take Ibuprofen for post delivery contractions and Tylenol for any fevers for when your milk comes in.

Anytime you feel like you have taken enough video or photographs of your infant, you are wrong. You will treasure every single one of them down the road. Take more!

After you deliver, enjoy all the things you couldn't while you were pregnant.Sleep on your back and stomach as much as possible! Bend over from your waist to pick things up! Eat deli meat for every meal! Embrace that your chest is now more feminine than you ever thought was humanly possible!

Last tip. Have the type of husband that will tell you that he misses your pregnant belly, but thinks you are more beautiful now than ever before (even if your stomach feels like bread dough and will until it stretches back down.) It will brighten your day when you never had time to shower, changed almost 20 diapers, haven't left the house in 6 days, and are still wearing maternity clothes. Basically, Kyle is the most helpful, kindest, and wonderful husband ever, but I'm sure your husband will do a great job too!

Avery and Sawyer

Thank you for all of your words and support with Sawyer joining our family! I have loved your comments and am grateful there are so many people excited about our big changes. My life is simply amazing right now! And today I am going to tell you why.

I hope it's apparent that I have been loving on my little Avery since the day she was born. She is seriously the biggest ball of fun.

From her fluffy Dr. Seuss hair,

to her excited "HEEEY"'s and waves she greets EVERY car driving by with, 

 

to her reading material that she peruses every mealtime,  

 to her cheesy off centered smile,

to how she turns on the TV and watches like a big kid,

to her beautiful blue eyes,

to her 18+ animal noises,

to her love of electronics and watching videos of herself,

to her new found ability to run, I think she is simply magnificent.

So, with Avery for competition, how could another child in the Bradley family stand a chance to equal the affections his parents have for his big sister? I mean Avery is pretty cute and perfect.

Well, apparently, it's not hard to win people's hearts when you are a gem of a baby.

I love the goofy faces he makes while he sleeps,

how half of his bottom lip is almost always sucked into his mouth,

how soft and sweet his skin is (seriously, he has flawless skin),

how he loves to eat (so nice to not have pediatricians and lactation consultants breathing down my neck),

how explosive his newborn poops are (they will never cease to make me giggle),

how easy it is to soothe him by swaddling and having him close,

 and I love how nice it is to just hold a little piece of heaven.

In short, I've learned that any worries I had that I couldn't love my second baby as much as my first have been quelled.

And not that Kyle ever was concerned about that (or really concerned about anything...that man is the definition of "easy going") but let me say that he dotes on Sawyer just as much as his Avery.

So, how has introducing these two kids to each other gone? IN-CRED-I-BLE!

Avery will give (more like drop on his face) Sawyer her stuffed animals, feed him (more often his eye than mouth) his pacifier, bring him blankets (albeit the dirty discarded ones), gets concerned when he cries, and even gave him a kiss before bedtime last night.  So yeah, I'm proud of my girl for being such a good big sister!

And Sawyer? He has been a trooper and has yet to cry when Avery sits on him when she wants to sit on my lap, and is pretty forgiving from the various pokes and prods to the face. Makes my mommy heart swell that he is such a good little brother!

I really think they will have a pretty awesome bond being only 16 months apart. Sure it has only been a week, and today is my second day taking care of the two of them on my own, but we are doing it! And I totally credit that to my two amazing and flexible kids and to my extremely helpful husband (especially when he gets home from school/work.)

Truly, I have felt so calm and peaceful since Sawyer joined our family. Maybe because this isn't my first rodeo anymore, but I think it's mostly because I love being a mom and having two kids is absolutely fantastic. Yes I'm tired, yes there are moments when all three of us need to go to the bathroom/eat/cry, but I'm amazed at how my heart has room to love both of these kiddos.

Like I said, I have an Awesome life!

Sawyer James' Birth Story

I LOVE birth stories. Actually, that is an understatement. I adore birth stories WITH EVERY LITTLE PIECE OF MY HEART. It's fascinating to me how different everyone's experience is, even though the end result is nearly always the same. I get excited over people's marriage proposals too, but birth stories will always and forever be my favorite.

Before I had Avery I scoured over all my friend's blogs to get my hands on any and every birth story I could find. So naturally, I've re-read all those stories again (and found some new ones too!) with this pregnancy. I am including this little tidbit in case I ever talk to you and can describe the details of your child's birth better than you can remember them. If you like, you can go here to read Avery's story and we can call it even. :)

So with that said, let me share all the details of my wonderful Sawyer James with you.

His due date came, and his due date certainly went. Avery was 15 days early, all of my mom's kids were early, all of Kyle's mom's kids were early, and I was absolutely shocked to still be pregnant.

After 3 hours of sleep I woke up at 2:15 Monday morning to the largest "kick" I have ever felt. My immediate thought was, "I wonder if that was strong enough to break my water?" I started to roll over on to my left side and was immediately greeted by a downpour of water. I quickly grabbed the pillow from between my knees (because what pregnant woman doesn't sleep with at least a pillow under her knees, under her belly, and under her head?), pulled off the pillowcase, tucked that up between my legs and hobbled over to the bathroom. (I know, my creativity that early in the morning astounds me too!) Words cannot describe how nice it was to have those next 20 minutes to myself. It was good to take a breather before labor began. I was SO excited and feeling SO grateful that the wait was over!

I waddled back to my room and spent a good minute or two trying to wake Kyle out of a dead sleep (Kyle has confessed to me since that while he was waking up he was thinking, "Why is she doing this? Doesn't she know that I am sleeping and don't want to wake up?") He asked me what was going on, and I excitedly told him that he was going to have a son that day.

Now, when my water broke with Avery, I never started any contractions on my own without pitocin. So I was guessing we had a while before we needed to get to the hospital and labor would be in full swing. I had an appointment with my midwife at 8:30 that morning, so my current plan was to take Kyle with me and see what the 3 of us could come up with for the delivery (I REALLY didn't want to get that pitocin again!)

Well, none of that ended up happening. I jumped in the shower at 3:00, and at 3:01 I was in full blown labor with contractions coming about every 4 minutes. Talk about fast and furious! By the time I got out and got dressed (it took a bit longer than usual since every time I had a contraction I had to stop what I was doing) Kyle had already showered, dressed, and got all our odds and ends into a bag. A little before 3:30 we woke up my Mom and told her we were on our way to the hospital. I am so glad she was already at our house and we could just let Avery keep sleeping. I don't know if we could have called a friend that early in the morning and had them get to our house before we left for the hospital. You are the best Mom!

The roads were absolutely vacant and our typical 20-25 minute drive to the hospital was reduced down to 12 minutes (and Kyle only ran 1 red light.) This was awesome since my contractions were now coming 2-4 minutes apart.

We parked in the parking garage, walked into the hospital, and had to go to the information desk to find out where to go (you'd think we would have been a little more prepared and had already toured the hospital with Sawyer coming a week late, but nope!) The information lady asked if I wanted a wheelchair to make it to Labor & Delivery on the third floor, but I was determined to keep this labor moving and opted for walking. It may have taken us twice as long to get there because every time I got a contraction I had to lean against the wall and breathe through it. We made it up to the triage room, gave them my drivers license and insurance card, and they escorted Kyle to the waiting room while I had to get weighed, give them a urine sample, and change into a hospital gown. Now, none of those things are hard to do in and of themselves, but my contractions were coming steadily every 2 minutes and I was getting pretty darn nauseous (although I hadn't eaten since 6:00 the night before.) I kept having to just put my head down and lean against something until each contraction was over. Fortunately I was able to get each task done by a little after 4:00.

I then got hooked up to the contraction and fetal heart rate monitors and then just waited on the hospital bed for someone to come meet me. There were only curtains separating me from other laboring women. It seemed funny that there were all these unseen ladies going through exactly what I was at that moment. Some of them cursed with every contractions, some of them moaned, I'm guessing some of them were silent, and I mostly just dry heaved into a bucket. Like I said, everyone's labor is different! :)

Finally Kyle was able to come back and hang out with me. He was excited about some infomercial that was playing in the waiting room ("Did you know that there is a toaster oven that can cook a completely frozen steak in less than 15 minutes? I almost pulled out my phone and ordered one!") At 4:30 they checked me and I was at a 5.5 and completely effaced. They asked if I was wanting an epidural and I told them I was hoping I could do this thing naturally. They told me I was handling labor pretty well so far, so it seemed like a real possibility. Awesome!

At 5:00 they had me walk over to the labor and delivery room with two nurses (one was orienting and the other had already been oriented...she was oriental...sorry lame joke.) They started an IV and hep-locked it. By then I had started shaking and throwing up again, which they told me were signs of being in transition.  Like I said, this labor was fast and furious!

There was a birthing tub in the room, which I was definitely not interested in giving birth in (blood and guts in and of themselves don't gross me out, but the idea of swimming with them does) but they said I could chill in it until it was time to start pushing. So they helped me hop in and I sat there for about 5 minutes.

At that point the on call midwife came in. He started talking about something (seriously, all these medical people kept on talking and I couldn't focus on anything they were saying for the life of me) when I had the most distinct urge to push. I asked if I could already be at that point (I mean we had only been in the delivery room for 30 minutes.) He checked me and said I was at a 9, but the baby's head was already really low. He gave me two options.

Option one, we could wait for me to dilate to a 10, meaning I would have to resist the urge to push for some unknown amount of time. Now, there are a lot of things I don't know, but one thing I do KNOW is that it is pretty near impossible not to push when your body wants to. So that option was out.

Option two, the midwife could press on the front part of my cervix  while I pushed to help get me dilated and get the baby out. Only catch is that it is a lot more painful than just regular pushing (who knew childbirth could get even more painful?) Well, I had already made it this far, so I figured we might as well just get the job done. Option two it was.

I got back in the bed trying to resist pushing with every step, and I am not going to lie, began the most intense few minutes of my entire life. With Avery, I had an epidural and could feel the pressure of the contractions and knew exactly when to push. I got in a rhythm and would push 3 times per contraction and then break until the next contraction hit. This time was entirely different. I pushed minute after minute and it was HARD! I was gripping Kyle's arm with my right hand, one of the other nurses' arm with my left, was tucking my chin to my chest and pushing with all my might. I remember thinking to myself that I wouldn't yell and be one of those people, but sure enough, I hollared loud enough to convince any soul in that hospital that going naturally is crazy! Then I would take a deep breath, remind myself I wasn't going to be one of those people, and then do it all over again. :)

After a few pushes, the midwife informed me that the scartissue from my previous episotomy was not stretching and he would have to recut part of it. And as soon as he did that, my little Sawyer James popped out and was placed on my chest after 3 hours of labor.

He was absolutely incredible, and he was indeed a HE (I was 95% sure he would be, but still had to double check.) He was 8 lbs 7 oz, 21.5 inches long, and Kyle cut the cord (and was very proud of himself). As we were enjoying getting to know our little man, the midwife noticed Kyle wearing one of his many free BYU T-shirts that he loves. He asked if we were LDS, and come to find out the midwife was too! He said he was impressed with me for not swearing during the labor, which I told him I had no choice (I was worried he would tell my bishop). ;)

So without any further details (like I said, I love birth stories so I probably got a little carried away detailing mine), enjoy some pictures of the little guy!

And a few hours after Sawyer's birth, Avery got to meet her little brother and we got to be a family of four (!!!) for the first time.

She's still not quite sure what to think of Sawyer. She mostly pays attention to him when he cries or when he's nursing (which this child is a dream at!)

Welcome to the family Sawyer! We love you and are so happy you are ours!

Blast from the Past

So, I had this post written on Sunday, September 30th, but I got a little busy once the next day rolled around (spoiler alert: I had a baby!!!) and never put it up. So before I share the birth story, I'll let this wet your appetites. Enjoy!

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Well hello October! I was not picturing having a baby born during this month, but apparently that is the new plan.

I consider myself a pretty flexible person, but I'm not going to lie, this wait has had some killer moments. As in, I broke down in tears at my appointment last Thursday (40 weeks and 3 days) as my midwife was listening for the heartbeat with the doppler. I can only imagine how pathetic it looked to have my stretched out belly exposed and bouncing with every sob that escaped my mouth. Fortunately, my midwife is very sweet and only had good news to tell me. I was almost to a 4, 10% more effaced, and baby was almost at a 0 station. He is still head down (not that he has any room to turn) and she was guessing he was about 7.5 lbs at that point.

It's been the daily possibility and then daily disappointment that I haven't gone into labor that's been rough on me. Friday night I was getting some good contractions that were every 5 minutes and lasted a minute, but then they just petered out. Cruel, cruel, cruel. I can usually roll with these set backs and just say, "Hey, even if this isn't the real thing, we are still making progress to the end goal" but there are those moments when I do feel a little like a failure since this baby hasn't shown his face yet. When you set your wedding date, you spend months (only 2 months in Kyle and my's case, but still) looking forward to that day! Same thing with pregnancy and due dates, except my baby's birthday got delayed without me expecting it.

BUT, for the most part I am doing awesome. We've gone to the art museum, the zoo, ate spicy food, gone to the playground, and watched a movie every night since my Mom got here. Heck, we have even tried some acupressure points on my legs to try and stimulate labor. No go yet, but keep your fingers crossed!

Here's one of our long walks.

Complete with some galloping (bouncing around should help, right?!?)

and walking up and down the curb.

Pregnancy, it's been fun, but man, I am ready for you to be over! I'll do a happy dance when we are done!